30 Incredibly Valuable Lessons To Know Before 30

In this post, I am sharing 30 of the most valuable lessons I have learned or was forced to learn in this beautiful thing called adulting. I hope they inspire you to feel less stressed about your 30s and embrace it with open arms.

Are you feeling some type of way about turning 30? Have you recently turned 30 and feel unaccomplished…like you should be further along than you are? It’s okay to feel this way. In fact, this time last year, I was in full panic mode. I had just one year to cross off my big juicy goals.

I had worked on my dreams for so long with very little to show for it. I mean I had success here and there but not the level of success I truly desired. Want to know the mistake I made? I let it define me. But not anymore!

As I clock 30 on the 11th of Jan,  I am actually approaching it with my shoulders tall and a dose of insane happiness knowing I am wiser and have learned so many valuable lessons. Not just because I am finally achieving my big juicy goals, it’s more because I am at a point where achievements don’t define who I am. I want you to feel the same way. 

To feel this same freedom.

It was tough coming up with this list but here are the top 30 valuable lessons I have learned in 29 years that I think everyone should know.

On dreams 

1. Forget the world’s timing. 

I used to be really obsessed with timing. I had to finish school at a certain age, be married and have all my kids before 30. I did complete university at 19, I did get married at 27 (not 24 like I thought) and I don’t have any kids yet. Let’s say life humbled me and God taught me that his timing mattered more than the world’s timing. Why are we all racing against an invisible clock anyway? This was honestly the most valuable lessons I learned. 

2. Play the heck out of the cards you are dealt in life.

 Even with the most unfavourable situations surrounding your life, you can still play those cards and win with a lot of grit, hardwork and determination. Your hard and smart work can put you ahead of someone with privilege. Believe me, my life has been nothing short of a miracle. 

3. It’s okay to always have questions. 

It’s completely fine to not have everything figured out. No one really does. Even the people you look up to.

4. Your dreams are absolutely valid and contain the seed to achieving them. 

In the 29 years I have been on this earth, I have come to accept that there is no thought allowed into your mind that cannot be achieved. If it is there then it is possible to achieve it. I want you to read that again and believe it for yourself.

5. Nothing grows from your comfort zone. 

I once had a boss that drummed this into me and boy was it one of the most valuable lessons I learned at work.  Full transparency, it was also the hardest lesson to accept. She was so right! Don’t settle for the status quo, nothing grows there.

On work

6. Discipline unlocks the life you want. 

How I define discipline is doing the exact opposite of what your body wants you to do. It takes a while to be a complete master- I am still learning myself. When you learn to ignore your feelings long enough, your ability to be disciplined improves and you can then unlock the life you truly want.

7.Rest is just as important as work. 

In this world where your value is placed on material success plus living in a generation powered by coffee, it’s really difficult for us to accept that rest is important. Get that 6-8 hours baby! Your health, your mind and your body will thank you! 

8. Work life is only a portion of your fabulous life. 

Don’t make it the only thing. This was a lesson I learned from a dear friend when I was stressing out about a work situation. She looked me dead in the eyes and said “Your work is only a portion of your fabulous life. Don’t make it the only thing”. I haven’t been the same ever since. When I am stressing out, I always remember. 

{Related Post: Three Things You May Not Know About Me }

9. Trust more in God than your own abilities. 

I know in this generation it almost sounds silly to trust your life to an unseen God but this has been the biggest blessing of my life. I do the work but I never trust in just that work. I trust in the God who made this earth and wants to help me be successful. People work hard and don’t make anything of their lives so if it were up to just hardwork, so many people will have the lives they want. I believe in the unseen hand, guiding me, leading me. It’s okay if you don’t believe it. 

10. You can buy time by outsourcing.

Coming from an acclaimed DIY queen, this was a hard life lesson to learn but this is the only way to buy time and free up yourself to fully function in your zone of genius. Outsource cleaning, laundry, data entry…whatever is necessary for you to live the quality of life you want and get the rest you need.

11. It’s okay to not know 100% about a topic to teach it.

Imposter syndrome is what prevents most of us women from functioning 100% in our purpose. Remember that someone else is starting at zero and even though you might only know 20%, to the one who knows nothing, you are the expert. Don’t hold back from sharing your knowledge or even applying for that job because you think you’re not good or don’t know enough.

12. It’s okay to fail! It doesn’t make you a failure.

When I was a teenager I would say some affirmations out loud to myself like “ I will never fail” “I refuse to fail or be a failure”. So when I took on projects that eventually flopped, I made the ‘failure’ extremely personal. Failing at something doesn’t mean you have failed. This Oprah interview sums it up perfectly when asked if her new show might flop she said very confidently “It will and if it doesn’t, I’ll do well”. 


13. People may never treat you how you treat them. 

Be kind to others without any expectations. Many times we expect people to treat us with the same honesty and generosity that we have treated them but it’s not fair to lay that expectation on them.  People come from different backgrounds with different experiences and different parenting styles.

14. People forget what you say to them but never forget how you made them feel. 

I used to pride myself on being blunt but in the course of my relationship with my husband, I learned the difference between saying to someone “You are stupid” and saying “That decision wasn’t a very wise one”. One statement is made to break while the other to correct and mend. 

15. It’s okay to resist the urge to explain yourself to people hell-bent on misinterpreting you.

The truth will win eventually.

16. If someone shows you who they are, believe them.

The friend who called you names when she was angry is likely going to do it again so decide if you still want to be close friends or you want to step back a little. If you do decide to stay it’s important that you set expectations and boundaries. I learnt this the hard way.

On life & love

17. Marriage is not as scary and true love exists.

Oh, how I love being married. It has its days but for the most part, I consider it one of the biggest blessings of my life to do life with this incredible man. I genuinely don’t understand why it gets such a bad rap? Really grateful to live and know that true love exists. 

18. Be reflective and work on changing them. 

Many of us aren’t as reflective as we should be. I’d say marriage taught me to be more reflective. Very often we keep repeating behaviours and patterns that are detrimental. Can we take a moment to reflect? Were we selfish, did we act out in anger? If yes, why? Is it a compulsive behavioural pattern? Something you learnt to do as a child? A coping mechanism to keep you from getting hurt? It’s important to analyse so we can be our best selves.

19. Good things take a while

 No explanation needed here but someone once said it takes 10 years to be an overnight success. I am inclined to agree.

20. Healthy lifestyle > Quick fixes. 

Growing older means that the extra weight may not come off as easily. It’s important that we keep striving for a healthier lifestyle and stop the quick fixes and the detox teas. Especially the detox teas. Yuck!

Quick story, I once did a 10 day smoothie fast. Let’s just say this lesson was quickly one of the most valuable lessons I learned. Ah! Never ever again!

21. Enjoy today, NOW. 

Don’t wait until you have your dream home or dream car. Love the life you are living now and be grateful for it. Be happy with what you have whilst waiting for what you want.

22. It’s okay to not want marriage or children. 

It’s perfectly fine. If you don’t desire them, lean into what God has called you to do instead. Give yourself permission to believe that it’s totally okay.

23. Stats are just stats they may not apply to you. 

20% of small businesses fail in their first year? Don’t set yourself up for failure by believing every stat. Numbers don’t lie but what if you are in the 80% that succeed? What if?

24. There is always always a way out. 

In every challenge I have faced so far I have always always tried to find a way out and it’s that mindset that gets you out of tough and challenging situations. There is always always always a way out.

25. Faith is key

Over the years my faith and belief in the ONE who made me and put me on this earth grows so abundantly. I understand that not everyone reading this will believe that but that relationship is the single reason I am still here and what inspires continuous hope in my heart even when I get knocked down. Growing your faith should be one of the most valuable lessons you learn in this season of your life. 

26. Giving is magic. 

Isn’t it crazy how basic maths tells you that the more you keep, the more you have? Giving turns mathematics on its head. Give more and watch the magic of giving work in your life. It’s incredible. You have to start giving to fully understand it.

27. Stop dwelling on the past. Use it to shape your future 

Oh, how I love to analyse the past and wish certain things didn’t happen or that I could fix some mistakes. The real question is would I be where I am without having made those mistakes? 

28. It’s okay to seek therapy. 

I won’t lie, I used to think therapy was for people who had experienced abuse or worse. After seeking therapy myself, I can tell you that just being able to articulate yourself to someone whose job it is to study and analyse human behaviour is gold. Literal Gold!

29. Comparison is the quickest way to steal your joy. 

A degree at 30 and a degree at 19 are still degrees. It’s okay if others seem further along. It’s okay! Lean into the season you are in.

30. It’s okay to not know what you want to do at 30. It really is. 

Finally, we are at number 30. It’s perfectly fine to not know what you want to do. On my 29th birthday, I still wasn’t sure what career path I wanted to take. You are not abnormal and your situation is not peculiar. 

That’s it. Those are the valuable lessons everyone should know!

In the 29 years I have been on this earth, the biggest lesson I have learned is that age is nothing but a number. We should all stop racing against invisible clocks and lean into seasons. 

We all operate in different seasons, I have had silent seasons and bountiful seasons and each season prepared me for the next. 

I hope you take one of these lessons close to your heart, that it inspires you to lean into your purpose and the season of your life. 

If this inspired you, join me over on Instagram and let’s continue the conversation. 

Other Posts You May Like:

Three Things You May Not Know About Me 

Create Your Self Care Plan 


Hey you, I’m Torera

I am super intentional about elevating my life and home. The question I always ask is, how can we do this better? I bet you are just the same! Here’s hoping this blog becomes your go to place for relatable, fuss- free home, cleaning and entertaining ideas.

  1. 1.11.21

    Thank you for sharing such a beautiful post! So many points, if not all the points here resonate deeply especially as I countdown to my 30th! Wishing you the best of the new year ♥️

    • 1.14.21
      torera said:

      People have more fun in their 30s Joanne! I cannot wait to celebrate you once you cross over. Thank you lovely!

  2. 1.11.21
    Ocheze said:

    All I can say is I love you Torerageorge. Thank you for sharing.

    • 1.14.21
      torera said:

      You are so so welcome!!

  3. 1.11.21
    Dumebi said:

    Hi Torera, this is Dumebi. I don’t know if you remember me but you taught us fashion at a summer camp in healing school some years back. I have been a silent follower on Instagram and I must say that you are truly inspiring and comforting.
    I enjoyed this piece and it really resonates with me.
    Thank you for this.
    My IG handle @therealdumebie
    Bye! Love ya!

    • 1.14.21
      torera said:

      Omg Dumebi!! I had completely forgotten about that summer camp. Awwww I appreciate you love. Please stay in touch ❤

  4. 1.11.21
    Pam said:

    So well written and thought out ❤️ Happy birthday you bundle of talent. 🥰🥰

    • 1.14.21
      torera said:

      Oh Pamela, your comment makes me so so so happy!!

  5. 1.11.21
    Tsiamaka said:

    Thanks for this. I’ve always loved you. Happy birthday Torera.

    • 1.14.21
      torera said:

      I appreciate you soo soo much!!!

  6. 1.12.21
    Ivy said:

    So inspiring Torera, thank you so much and Happy Birthday.

    • 1.12.21
      torera said:

      Thank you so much Ivy!

  7. 1.12.21
    Finding Purpose said:

    Torera, this was a very real post and for that I’m grateful. What you said about enjoying today now and overcoming imposter syndrome stuck me so deeply because I’ve always been the kind of person to live in the future, going through my day thinking about the love I’m yet to have, the job, or the travel I’m yet to do. Let me not even start talking about how even with how skilled I am I don’t sell myself because I feel somehow that I’m not good enough, like I’m waiting to be perfect.

    Thank you for sharing these so honestly, and happy birthday!

    • 1.12.21
      torera said:

      You are so welcome and please don’t be hard on yourself at all!!! We all go through it. We are all in the process of learning and unlearning. I celebrate who you will become and the incredible woman that will come out on the other side of that growth. Thank you again!

  8. 1.13.21
    Jenny said:

    Absolutely 💯. Gems. Happy birthday ❤

    • 1.14.21
      torera said:

      Thank you so much Jenny!

  9. 1.13.21

    Wow, this has to be the best blog post I’ve read in a while. I love how you categorised them and made them so relatable. I’m 4 years away from 30 but I find these lessons really valuable! Thank you so much for sharing. I finished university at 19 and I’ll be 26 this year but yet to get a job and be financially stable, that first lesson is gold.

    • 1.14.21
      torera said:

      Oh Tinuke, you flatter me so much and make me feel good about my decision to blog again. So happy you found it valuable. ❤

  10. 1.13.21
    Jennifer said:

    Happy 30th birthday Torera!

    I picked this from the intro before your listing. Achievements don’t define me.

    I actually started to tell myself this after I got fired from my radio job I poured my entirety into.

    I was told I wasn’t a good fit. Instead of crying on getting home, I simply told myself, what I have or don’t
    have, doesn’t define me. Only the report of God I would believe.

    • 1.14.21
      torera said:

      I am super super proud of you for finding the strength to pick yourself up after a seeming failure. I applaud you and I know that you will go on to do incredible things.

  11. 1.13.21

    Happy Birthday once more Torera!
    Thank you so much for sharing these lessons. It’s truly okay to fail because your identity is not tied to things and we must often learn to separate ourselves from the results we produce.
    I also have to kick Imposter syndrome in the face and step out in my calling and giftings because just like you said, my 20% will help someone else starting at zero.
    God bless you!

    • 1.14.21
      torera said:

      Thank you so much my dear, I am so so glad that even one of the points helped you in some way. Remember that we all experience imposter syndrome too but our response matters. God bless you too my dear

  12. 1.14.21
    Konko said:

    Loved reading this because every single line resonated with me and expressed a lot of my experiences as well. Thank you for sharing and welcome to you best decade yet 🙂

    • 1.20.21
      torera said:

      Thank you Konko, I am so glad it resonated that deeply

  13. 1.15.21
    Chimdi said:

    Happy birthday Torera!

    The lesson about dwelling on statistics hits home for me because most days, it’s like absolutely nothing is working here in Nigeria. I have to remind myself that there are still some businesses that aren’t doing badly so I shouldn’t fuss about what I can’t really control.

    The lessons that you’ve shared are deep truths.

    Cheers to many more years 🥂

    • 1.20.21
      torera said:

      Oh Chimdi, I can relate even though at the time I wrote this, that scenario wasn’t even a consideration. If you are a Christian please research Jacob’s well and the circumstances surrounding it. You will see that God can prosper you anywhere or he will take you out of it. He will prosper you despite and in spite of. Keep the faith and back it up with works. Love always… Torera

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